Be respected

I have been going through my journals from years past and seeing how I have grown and changed. This entry really got me. I am a mother of girls, and I pray that they always hold men to a standard of respect, so they won't have to go through some of the things I did because I didn't value myself. I'll admit that reading some of my entries, brings me back to that place of pain and I almost get stunted. But then I remember who I am, and more importantly who I am in connection with (my husband, my children, my family and friends). This gives me strength and I see my past as a way to share with others in hopes they won't repeat my mistakes.


March 10, 2001


Tonight I hung out with J, L, A and Dewey. Well L made a comment about putting out. He was talking about setting me up with this guy who really likes me. He said, "I told him you put out, I mean go out." Although this offended me I just let it slide, and didn't say anything.
So later that night I get a call from Dewey. He tells me that the comment was disrespectful. He said that it really offended him and wanted me to know that I'm worth more than that. He told me I'm awesome and very special; and I should never be told things like that.

It totally opened my eyes. By him saying that it made me believe that i am worth more than that. Even though I know L was joking, it still showed how he didn't respect women, or me.
Dewey explained that he even tried to talk to J about how saying things like that aren't weren't right, but J just defended L's comments. So i decided to talk to J about it, (since he was my closest friend in that group.) He told me that I could talk to L about it, I could handle it. That goes to show where he stands too.

I need guy friends who respect me and women. I guess I believed that since I wasn't worth anything, that people can say things like that to me. If I started acting out my worth, I would be strong and confident.

I know there is a fine line, friends should be able to joke with each other, but only when there are limits in place. So where should those limits be drawn? Holy Spirit maybe you could help show me, through people like Dewey or whatever, just show me. I need to be respected!