Life Lessons

The kids and I were shopping after Christmas this year. While in the store Haylee and sophie's hair had a lot of static in it. When haylee found out that her hair was sticking up all over the place, she immediately wanted to go put water on it. I asked her why she wanted to do that so badly, she explained that she didn't want people to laugh at her because of her crazy hair. My heart stopped. haylee is 4, and yet she has already developed a sense of self-consciousness. This is such a fallen world, i have to remind myself. She has slowly developed the curse that God talked about in the Garden after the fall, the recognition of being Naked. I knew the day would come, but so soon, really??

I knew in that moment that I had a chance for education and promotion of healthy identity. So I told her no one would laugh at her. But then i realized that is not true, there will always be people who would laugh.

So I then told her that everyone has static hair in the winter time, that it is normal. Again I promote a false sense of security, when the truth is though it is normal, not everyone will have "crazy hair," therefore providing potential to feel more different and unworthy.

So I gave her the best I could, even if people laugh it's ok! I said that it's true her hair is crazy and it does look a little funny, and that means she can laugh at herself. If other people laugh you could agree with them, "yeah your right, it does look crazy!" But just because you look crazy or people laugh doesn't mean there is anything bad about you! It doesn't mean that you aren't pretty or worthy to be admired or loved.


In that conversation I thought so many things at once, I felt anger at the potential bullies she could have in the future, and hatred for the feelings she could develop towards herself that says she isn't pretty or worth anything. I felt helpless too, that I couldn't protect my baby from harm or hurt feelings. Oddly enough I also felt empowered that I could help prepare her for the harsh world and the things to come. Too much at once!!

When she said those words I literally stopped my world, got down on my knees and told her the truth that this world is mean, that you do look a little crazy, but that you are still beautiful, that you will be loved regardless your appearance or behavior, and that it's ok to laugh at yourself!! Now I just have to wait and see what kind of seed was planted, if any, and hope it turns into a strong and beautiful tree!