Fear of Death

Being a Christian they say you shouldn't fear death. Well that is partially true for me. I don't fear death because I know that Heaven awaits, that means no more fear, pain or torment. But what fear remains is loosing my kids to death, or me loosing the opportunity to grow old with them.
So my fear is selfish I see now writing it out, but is it not also selfish to desire heaven, to desire no pain and no fear? Not certain I know the answer to that.
The beauty and the tragedy of having children is truly the value they have for you. A quote given to me by my friend Caroline states it all:

"Making the decision to have a child-it's momentous!

It is to decide forever to have your heart to go

walking outside of your body"

Elizabeth Stone

Your smiles, laughter, even tantrums are amazing to me. There is no joy that compares to that. I just pray that I bring you comfort, and prepare you for the world. I hope that you grow up strong in faith, and in yourself. I pray that you recognize your worth and beauty even if it isn't like others. You are truly my heart, and I pray that you are solid and fruitful!

As for me, know my children that if God decides to take me home, that I do not fear death, nor even the pain that could happen during my death, because pain is fleeting but heaven is absolute. Know that I have been blessed beyond any words with your love. And I am so proud of who you are and what I know you are going to become, because you require no changing or manipulating to become great and worthy. You already are, because you are not only my child, but you are a child of God's and He makes perfection every single time! I love you!