I recently had a dream that I had a flat tire and was unable to drive where I needed to go. I woke up feeling anxious about this image, and questioned if I should drive to Muncie with my girls. I shook the feeling off, believing that it was a result of Ryan's recent experience with a slow leak in his own tire. On my way down to Muncie, I started thinking about my tires again. I have driven a lot back and forth from home to Marion, and we have had the car for two years now without having the tires checked. Surely I am again just getting anxious for no reason! Then I hit something on the interstate. The sensors on the car indicated that my tire was low, then I heard the inmistakable sound of a flat tire. I instantly start praying that I make it to an exit, and then one appears. I pulled into a gas station and called for roadside assistance; they appeared within 10 minutes, I think that is a record! :)
When it happened, I wasn't even surprised, it's like it was expected. Because I have faith, I instantly think, "God had to plant those images and feelings in my mind, as if to prepare me." And through it all I did have peace. So the question is, when do we know it is God and not our own doing? If I had not gotten a flat tire, is that an obvious sign that the dream wasn't from God, instead just some random thought?
Having these kind of feelings or dreams aren't rare to me. The most dramatic was when I discerned that not only was I pregnant, but that my baby was a girl who struggled with down syndrome. Within weeks I not only discovered I was pregnant for the second time, but that there was a huge mass in my baby's brain that indicated a chromosomal disorder. The mass disappeared, and I have my baby girl, Sophia Rae here and healthy. I truly believe that I could not have discerned these things on my own, and I found that because I had foresight that I managed my emotions much better than I would have if I was blindsided. So again I see how God planted these feelings within me, as if to prepare me.
Do I have to wait for the results in order to confirm that a feeling or dream is from God, or can I discern this prior to having the proof of outcome? I believe this question poses a potential risk of emotional spiritualism (a phase I just made up as I'm writing!) Because it can possibly lead me to basing my beliefs purely on the emotion behind it.
I have been down that road of a relationship based on just "feeling God," it's dangerous. When the feelings fade, what are you left with? Usually emptiness and disappointment. Not because God wasn't real, but because your idea of God wasn't true.
The last thing I want to do is start believing that every dream or maybe just the really random ones, and all the feelings I have are a sign of things to come. But my experience also tells me that God still does work in those things. This is something that I am going to continue to think about, and study. I doubt I will ever have a the answer that fits neatly in a box, but maybe I can get a better grasp on it.
